♥~Cecilly's Adventure to Hong Kong ~♥

Days are passing fast, very very fast... It is already the last month of year 2016... It has been a great year, or a year full of milestones and changes i would say...

For me, my status from a student to a working adult would be the most significant change in 2016... Am a chemist right now, working in a small company with all friendly & helpful colleagues, am paid with a salary not high enough to get anything too luxury but a little better than the average offer in this field which i am more than grateful considered the current economy of our country...

December marks the third month of me working here, don't know if i like my job yet, since i always think my life is getting shorter with every inhalation of the awfully smelly chemicals or with the accidental skin contact of toxic and corrosive substances...

This blog is supposed to be my second Hong Kong trip after 8 years but i guess i'll just mention everything a little to make up for the missing diaries last two months, hehe...

It seemed to me that i've traveled much enough this year, locally or oversea... I've been to Taiwan, Singapore then Hong Kong; Melacca, Penang, Johor, Cameron Highland & i lost count... They were not fancy expensive trips but more than enough to have good memories created for the year...  :)

As for the Hong Kong trip... Erm....Where do i start... Ok, Fluffy went on 15th of November, it was Tuesday... I just started my work & was still under probation i dare not to take too many leaves so i joined him on 17th of November which was Thursday then we would come back to M'sia together on 20th November, Sunday...

I wasn't alone though, Ceci was with me... We are both 9 to 5 white collars, unlike our entrepreneur boyfriends, we had "leaves concern", haha... We two dummies were late for boarding,erm... to be exact, we were just in time to get on the plane, not late yet,haha... because we simply walked without knowing which gate we were supposed to go which we went to the opposite gate then had to turn around & ran towards to right one...

Had a very lovely to & fro flight experience, haha... A handsome British *i know he was British because i overheard him talking with the passenger sat next to him* helped me with my luggage & we exchanged smile, hahahaha... When i was at Hong Kong airport walking towards to boarding gate back to Msia, my boarding pass slipped & dropped on the floor while i had no clue at all...

It was lucky of me that someone *a very good-looking blonde guy, hahaha* actually saw, picked it up & ran to return me my super important boarding pass... Don't know what would happen if i lost it, so scary >.< ... Fluffy gave me 360 degree eye-roll, haha...


Ok... Day 1, 17th November 2016

It was already past noon when we touched down, had local famous steamed milk & a beef macaroni soup from this well-known YeeShun Diary Company before we got ready for the company annual dinner...

Tada... It looked so simple but tasted really good... I always wonder how they manage to have the beef cooked so tender & soft & nice to chew...

Pictures from the dinner...

My neck is so long i look like a giraffe...Another me aka Ceci Yong i spotcha... :$

They went for a drink after that but i chose to have a good sleep at hotel because first i never like alcohol or place like that, second i think i need to be their physical alarm as the trip next day was fairly important, haha...


Day 2, 18th November 2016

Its Disney day!!! Even though i went before, the excitement was still there, would never ever be able to get rid of this Disney fever... Didn't get to take a picture with the princesses before & i promised to myself this time i needed to get this off my bucket list...

Was such a coincidence the last time i visited HK Disneyland, it was around Christmas *my favorite festival*, this time too... The whole park was sparkling decorated with Christmas tree & ornaments & lights... The snowing at the main street & Christmas tree lighting event were all there... Memories flashed...

Ok, lazy bug me is gonna let pictures do the talking again...

Us in the Disney train...

The parade... This Disney princess fan girl waved so hard to the princesses...

This is how the sleeping beauty's castle looks like at night, definitely as stunning...

Tada!!!! Finally got my wished granted after 8 years... I almost cried, no kidding... She's so beautiful & elegant, the way she spoke & her every move were exactly like how a princess would behave... She asked if Fluffy was my prince, i nodded then she replied : "Awww..that's so sweet, my prince is waiting for me at my castle too you make me miss him so much..." 

Likey this candid shot so much i decided to post it despite the fake height difference, haha... 

The most anticipation would definitely go to their firework at 8pm... The most amazing & dreamy firework i've ever enjoyed... With stories of  Disney princesses projected at the Sleeping Beauty's Castle, with all the familiar Disney theme songs playing, the firework show brought me into Disney itself, like i live in it... Never ever felt so close to Disney... Am extremely grateful that i got to experience this twice, promised there will be more Disneyland adventures to come...

Had Ichiran ramen as supper... Know its Chilam favorite & always thought i would bump into him when i went visited, haha... We went to the Tsim Tsa Tsui outlet but i guess Chilam most likely likes to go to the Causeway Bay one...

Erm.... Ichiran is similar to Ippudo, with lesser options of soup flavor... Actually, they have only one flavor but you can choose how do you like the concentration or heaviness, the texture of the noodles, onions or no, how spicy do you prefer it to be... Conclusion: I like Ichiran's noodles better but Ippudo's soup better... The boys didn't think so though, they were all crazy about Ichiran, haha...


Day 3, 19th November 2016

Its the day to Macau... I've been to Hong Kong before but not Macau... This was my first time & was truly thrilled...

Pictures time again..... Beware, I only know to pose for a photo but i'm super terrible as a photographer i failed 1000 times...

Venetian Macau, which was our first stop... This is the main hotel lobby area... It absolutely looks 10382035 times more magnificent & grand in real *told you about my photographing skill, even i was shocked at how i was managed to have this pretty piece of architecture taken so dull & ordinary like this...*

This is the shopping area... Canals with gondola's & singing gondoliers, painted blue skies, replica's of facades of Venetian buildings & bridges... These all added to the charm of the interior... If you didn't know about the artificial blue skies at first, i don't think people will even notice its fake...

AND... This is so good to tell that i dedicated my very first time of entering a casino to Venetian Casino, i mean its outside of M'sia its something to be bragged about right, haha... Didn't stay long in there though, just to walk around & have a look...

This is the new attraction in Macau namely The Parisian, the Eiffel Tower in Macau... It changes color during night time as you can see in the picture... Didn't go up there though, because we were rushing to our next destination: Ruin of St Paul Macau...

Tada!!! The best known landmark in Macau: Ruins of St Paul's... It was larger & taller than i thought...  Again, i thought i would bump into Chilam once i was there because of this tvb drama 澳门街, haha... If you have forgotten, how about the movie namely Return of the Cuckoo, ring a bell?

Couldn't believe i came here for real i needed to touch it to make sure i wasn't dreaming, haha... In comparison to my body size, can you see how magnificently grand it is now?

Sitting on the stairs eating their popular Portuguese tarts accentuated everything, the feel the atmosphere the experience...

Hello 巨轮...Spot 罗信记 at the left corner... :)

Tomato fried egg with beef... My supper of the day.. This was genuinely good!!! *my description is getting lousier & lousier i know haha...*

Day 4, 20th November 2016

It the day to go back to reality, so so so so fast... Before heading to airport, had our last HK significant dimsum breakfast at Tseung Kwan O 将军澳...

Mong Kok street in the morning...

My HK trip has already came to an end... Didn't have & am not going to make a to-do-list or even a new year resolution for 2017, just hope i could get more chances to travel to different countries & to lead a happy simple life, that's all... :)

♥~Cecilly's Epiphany about Appreciation~♥

Thursday, 1/12/16  Rainy

Dear diary, its the first day of December & i'm sitting in my office instead of working in lab... Well, actually, i just got back from my lab...

There's nobody downstairs, the production department is pitch black, being the only person working downstairs just now, i had some time to meditate for awhile & i feel like i should write down what just came across my mind...

Received a devastating news this morning which one of our very experienced production worker just passed away... An accident took his life... That explained why nobody is working, everyone is at his funeral i guess...

I didn't really have much contact or communication with him because he put on this very fierce & serious face all the time & our work weren't very much related we didn't have the chance to speak to each other...

Still, the news got me so shocked & there's this uncomfortable feeling wandering inside me...

LIFE IS TOO SHORT & TOO UNPREDICTABLE TO NOT APPRECIATE EVERYTHING & EVERYONE AROUND YOU...

This is remarkably true, yet... its one thing to acknowledge, to actually practice your belief is totally another story...

I always remind myself, to appreciate, to learn to cherish... & i admit i failed so awfully over & over, now still...

Example: am such an introvert i don't really like to go wedding dinner or party or anything includes socializing, etc...  * i'm weird and i know, Fluffy says i have depression all the time*

There was this day which my grandpa asked me to go to a dinner with him & i threw a little tantrum... I could have rejected if i insisted but i didn't... What stopped me from being a rebel granddaughter was that i knew there's gonna be a day when i regretted everything that i could have done but i didn't for my grandpa... That's why i went willingly in the end...

Sometimes when i was having a little argument with my mom *like last week, hehe*, i apologized afterwards even though i never thought it was my fault, partly because i'm the daughter, partly because my mom never admitted her fault it was useless to keep the i'm-waiting-you-to-say-sorry attitude around her, hahaha...

& then Fluffy... I can be a very possessive girlfriend sometimes & once he asked me :" why are you still angry, am i treating you not good enough?", i remembered all the things that he has done to me which i couldn't have done the same to him, all the guilt surfaced then i'll turn the angry girlfriend switch off & switch to the soft & gentle girlfriend mode....

Like i saw a news about the Chapecoense soccer team's plane crash this morning... Couldn't have the heart to imagine how it must have felt like to the family & friends... All too sudden & i believed they would have traded anything just to get a proper goodbye...

Felt so dreaded... That remorse about not treating someone better, not spending more time with them when you had the chance, its a burden & a mistake that you couldn't have shaken off through your whole life... Is it human nature to not realize how important someone is to you because you have taken them for granted, until death do you apart?

There had been a lot of cautionary tales around me which my friends lost their loved one or my schoolmate passed away... Every single tragedy happened around us is a reminder & also a lesson to put us in mind that do not regret or to realize how you could have paid more attention to someone whom you care about only after you have lost them permanently...

To me, to everyone who is reading... There's no forever, the eternal separation is going to come one day... Appreciate, Cherish, Treasure to the fullest NOW... 

Wow.. This is so gloomy... There'll be a light topic for next diary, will be about my HK trip... Hope you get something good out this entry & hope i will be able to do what i've been reminding myself to do but not yet successfully have it done: Appreciate, Cherish, Treasure to the fullest NOW...

♥~Cecilly's 23rd Birthday 17/9/16~♥

Officially 23... Nothing to celebrate being 23 years old actually, haha... just an indication that i'm getting older and my youth is slipping away already...

few weeks ago, i was worried about being unemployed, went to a few interviews but either i hadn't got updates from them or they offered me sales position which i don't think i'm very much a sales person so i rejected...

Then this day out of nowhere, my dream company called me for interview i was like freaking nervous because Jobstreet showed there were 1000 applicants i didn't know what i could possibly perform to stand out... What was worse was that i thought i did bad during the interview *sobs sobs*

Ok...So one week after, another opportunity came and the boss actually offered me the job when the interview ended, i was like "oh gosh what to do, i'm still waiting reply from my dream company but i like this company too..." I verbally accepted the offer & was supposed to start working on 22/9/16 (yeap it was few days ago)... On my way home, i received a call from my dream company & guess what, i was being accepted!!!  Was like WWWHHHHAATTT & HHHHOOOOWWWW...

Asked for opinions from my family & they suggested me to go for the small company instead of my dream one... After a night of consideration, i decided to listen to them... Sent an email to HR & they called me back within 5 minutes & told me they really wished me to work for them & asked would i consider if they raised my salary, OH MY GOD!!! Haha... Guess what, i rejected anyway... Don't ask me why, i don't know as well...

So... Fluffy went home with me, was gonna stay a few days before i packed my things to KL for work...

Look how adorable my little Jacob is... Snuggling so comfortably in my embrace...

Miss Jacob so much... It grows up so fast, this day it still couldn't even walk properly the next day it could jump & run around the house already... Also, its size is just getting bigger & bigger each passing day... I feel like I'm missing out on its growing up process... Still remember how i took care of Jacob the first day since it was born, from being dangerously vulnerable to healthily growing up, shit i can feel my tears coming... Am gonna go home next weekend, Jacob please don't forget me just yet... :'(

Besides, had an one day trip to Cameron Highland with my lovely family... It was an impromptu decision i guess mommy wanted to create a good memory for the family before i live outside of home... Oh my tears... :S

15/9/16  Thursday

Had a short meetup with my bestie Winqi & LiChing... They said it was a small celebration for me & Winqi bought me cake too, even though it was a little out of shape after a few bumping in the car, haha...

Now that we're all grown up, we don't have much chance to all sit down around a table & talk like we were still in secondary school anymore... We no longer share the same life like we used to, we no longer live our lives seeing each other everyday like we used to... Its ok that we don't see or talk very often, because we know no matter how much difference our lives or our minds have been, deep down there's always a place for each other which cannot ever be replaced... I always say that to have them in my life is one of the luckiest thing that could ever happen to me, undoubtedly true... 

Tada... Wefie before saying goodbye...


16/9/16 Friday

Time to go back to KL... Mommy was so thoughtful she helped me to wash the car, topped up the touch & go, filled the petrol, then nagged me all day reminded me do not left things behind because i was blur blur like that...

Was so sentimental all of a sudden i felt like crying again, haha... Before i went on a crying jag i stopped my mom like: "Mommy, i'm gonna come home every few weeks, don't say like we're not gonna see each other again alright.." She gave me a face before waving goodbye, haha...

Around evening, Fluffy brought me to this Light Sensation event to be surrounded by 30 thousands LED white roses for my birthday eve... I knew this event has gotten very much attention recently, but I never thought the crowds could be that insane... We purposely went there earlier to avoid the mess but still... The traffic was beyond my imagination, couldn't even afford the time wasted just to get parking inside the park, so we U-turned and chose to park at the roadside & we would walk... It was a very long walking distance but definitely took lesser time compared to driving, can you imagine the traffic?

Ok... Despite the crowds & the heat, it was fairly romantic...

Fluffy wanted to bring me to a fancy dinner but we were both very sweaty already so i would prefer take away Domino & had a movie night at home... 


17/9/16 Saturday My Big Day

Haha...Spent this significant day shopping all day... First, we went for this famous pork noodles in SS15 for brunch... It was my favorite food when i was in Taylors, nom nom nom... Have been nagging Fluffy to bring me there & finally got my wish granted on my birthday, haha... Satisfied...

Had the rest of the noon spent in Sunway Pyramid, so many clothes wanted to buy but i had no more pocket money from mommy already, officially fend for myself right now, needed to have a bit of self control, haha... 

Was gonna buy a pair of sneakers for myself as a present, unfortunately they didn't have my size already, uurrgghhhh.... You know sometimes i hate myself to have such small feet as i could never find my size of shoes... I'm 163cm tall with feet of size UK 3.5, maybe i fall down so easily is because the area of the base is too small while the body is too tall, hahaha... Like i know much about physics... Fluffy was so happy because i had one less chance to spend my money, haha...   

After Pyramid, headed to Pavilion for dinner, to have my another favorite noodles, Ippudo... Received my birthday gift from Fluffy that night, it was a Pandora princess charm... My favorite princess goes to Rapunzel, but every Disney quiz says I'm Belle, haha... I'm very much convinced that I'm Belle ok, can't wait for Emma Watson's version of Beauty & the Beast!!! 

Back to topic, in the end i chose the Belle one, a yellow princess dress charm, the 4th charm from him... Birthday ended like this, simple yet loving...


18/9/16 Sunday

It was Rebecca's birthday... Rebecca was Fluffy's friend's girlfriend & we became friends too, haha... Such a coincidence that our birthday was just 1 day away... Were gonna celebrate with her at Pyramid too, another coincidence... Ice skated for the first time in my life... 

It was a triple date to be exact, Fluffy with 2 of his best friends & also partners in work, then all the girlfriends became buddies as well... Another funny thing is that other than Rebecca, the other girlfriend actually shared the same name as me, Ceci... Most funny was that the reason behind our names was the same, haha... So we are all related in some ways, birthdays or names...

Had a bad hunch about my first time ice skating as i fall down too easily even when i walk, let alone ice skate... Just as i expected, i was the slowest to learn how to skate among all, haha... I think people were pointing at me laughing like: "Half an hour already, that girl was still leaning to the wall not moving an inch..." 

A kid even came over & offered me a guided lesson in skating, haha... She would tell me to let go & join her in the field & i was like: " No no no..not just yet...its bad..." Got along with her quite well, & when i asked her did she skate very often she answered me :" Ohh. i just learned it today..." Let me dig a hole & jump in it please, haha.. So embarrassing...

My friends were all skating around & when they passed by me they would be like: " Cecilia you alright?" In the end i found out the problem already, not that I was clumsy & stupid, its because my boots were too big for me, haha... Not excuse alright, boots play an important role in ice skating, they said the boots must be tight & fit enough, haha...

Didn't know how long it took for me to move around without holding onto something, haha... & I finally could finish a whole round holding Rebecca's & Ceci's hands... I could skate by myself as well, haha, with speed slow like turtle.. & out of my expectation, i never fell down that day, haha... Big achievement right...

Left side was Ceci & to my right was Rebecca...

It was a very fun yet terrifying experience, haha... Will absolutely try again but not too soon as its really exhausting & my feet were hurting so bad...

Group picture during dinner... Celebrated for Rebecca & i got the honor to blow candles plus made birthday wishes one more time... :)

I like this picture because we didn't smile for the camera, it was the most genuine expression even though its not pretty, haha...


22/9/16 Thursday

My first day of work... & this post is getting very lengthy i'll tell the story in the next entry, haha.... Stay tuned & byebye.... :)

♥~Traumatic Experience with Puppies(Must Read)~♥

Hello... First, I sincerely wish you read this because i hope to raise your awareness, in case you did the same mistake as i did...

Well... I'm writing this on the train, because I couldn't sleep & I figured this post is gonna be very long-winded, why not get some parts done while I have nothing to do right...

Am on my way to KL for job interview, just in case you wonder, haha... Ok let's get this started..

Actually I've been struggling whether or not to write this down because it brings up so many sad memories, and I've been thinking whether to use English or Chinese as this post is really important and serious for me... But now i guess you know both the answers...


12/8/16 Friday

As usual, mommy drove Bb to Ipoh for his English tuition while grandpa & I were gonna stay home for the night...

After dinner, I went for my bath & I heard kittens meowing... Was wondering where did the voices come from, but since there's always a few stray cats in neighbourhood, I didn't give much thought... It was around 7.30pm...

Was in my bedroom playing this singing app 欢歌 until mommy shouted :" Voonnie! Do you know Lexie gave birth already?" It was 11pm when mommy & Bb got home...

Rushed downstairs & helped... We knew Lexie was pregnant, but never thought the babies came so fast, was expecting at least one more week until she gave birth... Some of the puppies dropped into the drain & we had to use torch light to spot them then save them one by one...

Lexie was all panicked like she didn't know what to do... I was devastated, the kittens voices I heard earlier were actually the crying from these newborn puppies... Why didn't I bother???? They were crying for help for like 4 hours???? I blamed myself so so much for that, i still do...

There were total 8 puppies, 1 died, 7 left... I used hair dryer to blow them dry & we thought the puppies must be hungry, so we fed them HL milk as that's all we got...

I didn't understand why Lexie never barked or yelped before, while & after she gave birth... It could have alarmed us & we could have found out earlier & taken better care of them...

Was too naive to think those 7 puppies could all grow up together...

The next day, we went through a lot of hustles taking care of those puppies & the mother... Lexie was very protective over her children, she didn't react well when we touched them... Another thing was that she didn't know how to breastfeed them, can I use the word breastfeed because I don't think those were her breasts, ok forget about it... We tried to teach her to lie down, to let the puppies approach her nipples, but those puppies didn't seem to know how to suck as well...

Was trying to google newborns puppies care 101 but mommy told me not to disturb them, she said Lexie would do her job, it's in her nature... I was convinced & went for a nap...

"Jiejie, one of the puppy seems like wanna die already!" was what woke me up... Jumped out of bed & ran downstairs... Saw a puppy lying dead on the concrete floor... 6 left...

"The others don't look very good too... They are not moving..." "This one just vomited blood..." My mind went blank... The only decision that I could make was to take them all to the vet...

By the time we got to the animal clinic, I didn't know what to expect, I couldn't even take a look at the puppies... Another 2 died... 4 left...

The vet gave us reason that it could be the mother accidentally stepped on the puppies and caused internal injuries in the puppies, that would explain the blood vomiting... I couldn't care what others thought of me anymore & cried on the spot... Costed me this much to take a nap... The vet also mentioned that the others were very weak as well & asked us to go buy milk replacement, feed them every 2 hours, & to expect no sleeping at night anymore... Either you saved them all or watched them died one by one...

Did as the vet said... We separated the puppies from their mother for the night, I knew it was best to keep them together but there's no choice... Lexie was only 2 years old, she still behaved like a baby she didn't even know how to be a mother, she stepped on her poops all the time how could we never considered the possibility that she would unintentionally step on her children...

The 4 puppies left all had red noses & I googled to know that they were cold... Put them all in a box covered with unused clothes & towels... Saw they pooped quite a lot but the thing was they never had much milk to drink... Googled & found out they couldn't be fed human milk else it'll cause diarrhea... Crap, HL milk was another mistake...

I wanted to keep them alive, i was determined to do so... Did a lot of googling & slept in the living room for the night... Woke up every 2 hours to feed them milk through a syringe, checked on them from time to time to make sure they were warm enough.... In fact, I couldn't sleep at all... The puppies crying, Lexie barking, it made me so uneasy... I was a total ruin... Witnessed the puppies crying & suffering, knowing Lexie was all antsy & worried that her puppies were gone but she was trapped inside a cage & couldn't do anything about it, my heart broke...

2 of the puppies weren't drinking milk anymore, I tried to pick them up & feed them but they didn't seem to be drinking... What was worse was that I saw blood coming out of one of the puppy's mouth again... I saw it crying in pain, I was crying too... I caressed his head (it was a male) & told him it's ok, until the crying got softer & stopped... Another one died too... My heart stopped too, I couldn't find a word to describe my feeling back then, I was broken down, I was helpless, I was suffocating, I was traumatized, I was blaming myself so so hard... 

Why couldn't I be more prepared, why didn't I google how to take care of them earlier.. I could have save them, instead, I just gave 6 lives away...

Another 2 were better, they didn't need syringe feeding anymore, they learnt to drink from milk bottle... One of them was exceptionally active, it liked to hold the bottle with his little front legs while it was drinking...

The next day, we put them back together with Lexie & we took turn to watch them... To make sure Lexie wouldn't be stupid enough to step on them, to make sure the remaining puppies were still breathing...

Couldn't imagine how Lexie must feel... It took only 24 hours to lost 6 of her children... I apologized to her, to all the dead puppies... The remaining two were getting stronger, they knew how to find Lexie's nipples for milk, & they knew how to drink from it.. Lexie was taught how to feed them too...

But... We realized one was way more active than the other one... Was worrying if the other one could make it... Before we went to bed, we saw the less active puppy was lying still on the floor, i couldn't sleep at all, instead, I came downstairs & sat in the kitchen, peeking through the window to ensure everything's ok...

About half an hour passed, I saw Lexie kept licking the inactive one, I guessed I knew what happened, or about to happen... Already prepared for the worst but what came next was beyond what I thought... Started to hear some cracking sounds, which didn't sound like Lexie was licking, I peeked through the the window, what came into my sight didn't seem like he was licking as well, it seemed like Lexie was eating... I was startled, tuned off the light & ran back to my bedroom...

I hoped I was wrong & I googled if that's possible for female dog to eat their own dead puppy... Turned out it was uncommon but definitely possible... The reason was if the breed has wild nature in it, it ate its dead child to prevent other predator from coming & to provide itself more nutrient to ensure it could take care the best of the living puppy... Had a nightmare that night...

Hoped I thought wrong, hoped miracle happened which the puppy somehow got stronger again...

When I woke up the next day, I actually thought everything was ok for a second, since mommy didn't come wake me up or deliver bad news... I went to her, she said one of them was missing, probably dead & eaten by Lexie... My tears burst out before the words registered... & I told mommy what I saw the night before...

I couldn't face Lexie, I couldn't accept what she has done... I knew animal are bound to be some way different from human but I just couldn't... Didn't even dare to click on any video that people shared on Facebook because all I could think of would be those puppies were so alive & healthy while mine were all dead... Why my friend didn't really take care of those newborns, yet 5 out of 6 grew up healthy... Why I did so much, yet 7 of out 8 puppies were dead...

Everyone who knows me knows I love dogs... I witnessed they suffered, witnessed how blood were coming out form their mouth, how they were crying in pain, how they breathed their last breath, how the mother ate her own puppy... Those were all I could think of when I thought about dogs.. I was afraid... It felt like my heart was stabbed a thousand times... 

It took me around 2 days to overcome the fear... I wanted to take care of the only one puppy left, I wanted to make certain that it was ok... I saw how mommy & Bb were tired taking turn to watch them, I wanted to help... Even though everytime i looked at Lexie's mouth, the scene of  that horrible night popped out, I told myself i mustn't be a coward, it was all for the puppy...

Days went by, everything seemed to be back to normal, puppy was getting stable, Lexie was getting more mother like, we didn't need to watch them all the time already... It was time to name the puppy...

I named him Jacob after the werewolf in Twilight Saga... Because its gonna grow up looking like a wolf due to its breed, it has dark brown and black fur & because i love Twilight, haha...

(p/s: this is my just wake-up-haven't-bath-haven't-brush-teeth face... :$ )

There... Resemblance? haha...

Jacob grows up so fast.. I was there when its eyes opened for the first time, i was there when it learned how to walk... It was fabulous... Could tell its size getting bigger day by day... I love Jacob so much... I somehow don't wish to leave home for work so soon because i wanna be there when Jacob grows up, I don't want to miss any of its growing up process...

Now I'm in KL and i miss Jacob too much... When i get to be with Fluffy, Jacob wouldn't be with me, when i get to see Jacob everyday, i wouldn't be able to see Fluffy... I came up with a quote myself, haha... When i'm not missing Fluffy, i'll be missing Jacob; when i'm not missing Jacob, i'll be missing Fluffy...

A guy & a male puppy own all my heart, funny isn't it... My birthday is coming soon, usually i'll have 2 birthday wishes given to my family & Fluffy, the last wish will be for myself... Now i already planned that i'll have my last wish given to Jacob as i love it that much...

I'm mentally better now but more fragile at the same time as i couldn't afford the pain if anything bad happened to Jacob.. There was a night when i went to the kitchen for supper & i heard Jacob barking from the drain, i was shocked & asked Bb for help... Even though Jacob was alright & it was just being naughty, I couldn't shake pass the awful memories... Wanted to check on Jacob in the middle of night but i was afraid, it was like i was suffering from psychological trauma because the last time i checked on the puppy in the midnight, i watched it got eaten by its mom...

Wow...long post isn't it... The devastating memories will be craved deep in my heart forever, as a reminder to myself... Never treat lives casually, human's or animal's... Never do things when you couldn't afford the responsibility... I wrote it down as a cautionary tale to whom may be reading as well, to avoid tragic like this happens...

Oh yup, I definitely am not still on the train by this point, haha... I stopped when i talked about how i got rid of my fear, the topic was too heavy i needed to let my mind rest... & now i'm typing using Fluffy's laptop...

Thanks for taking your precious time to read until the end, i promise next post will be a happier one... :)