Cecilia's secretland

Cecilia's secretland

Friday, December 27, 2013

♥~Merry 2014 Christmas~♥


Hello....New year is coming & guess its time to change my blog skin too...Like it this way, much simple... :)

Its been quite awhile since my last update...No doubt its because i have nothing to blog about, nothing worth writing down...until the day before yesterday... :)

My sem break started at 16th Dec but it seems to me it doesn't make a difference whether or not its holiday...

I'm kind of forbidden to go out thanks to my strict mummy...There's so many places i want to go & festivals i want to celebrate especially Christmas, my favorite festival of all...

Last year's Christmas was the best one before entering my twentieth year...Spent my Christmas Eve with Anthony Neely, watching his concert, listening him singing live & had a countdown at Pavilion...Spent my Christmas with him even though we hadn't even started our relationship...

This year i thought i was just gonna stay home reading books, watching drama or playing piano & my newly bought guitar just like i usually do...

Oh right...I started reading beautiful creature series & its really nice...Couldn't get my hand off the book, literally used less than 1 day to finish the 1st book & i have to mention its so much nicer than the movie...Now i'm half way through the second book, Beautiful Darkness, oh my god its so addicting... :$

Oppss...Time to back to the topic, my Christmas alright.... :$


Christmas Eve, 24/12/13, Tuesday

Wasn't feeling my best...I've been coughing & suffering from sore throat few days before...That day i woke up & realized flu has come to me too, great...Oh yup, period cramp also... :')

Was thinking if i couldn't go out & celebrate, then i'd do the thing i enjoy & love the most at home, a twilight movie marathon,haha... I know you may have just rolled your eyes, trust me, i feel embarrassing too... But...but...but i really love twilight like insane... :$

Its Breaking Dawn part 1 & 2 that i watched...He was like : " Dear i having BBQ at my cousin's house...What are you doing ?"

"Watching twilight..."

"So happy ? :$ "    Yes that's right, continue to gloat... ><

He spent almost a week staying at his cousin's house, celebrating his cousin's wedding & the coming of Christmas...Decorated Christmas tree, had Christmas shopping for present exchange session & etc...See, his days were so productive...

Decorating Christmas tree is always a dream of mine that i never get to fulfill, let alone owning one...Guess how many years i would have to wait to take that off my wishlist...

By the way, my twilight night was great...Haha...Come on, the flashback-of-Edward-and-Bella-in-the-meadow-playing-along-with-a-thousand-year scene is EPIC...Especially their last lines : " Nobody's ever loved anybody as much as i love you..."  "There's one exception..." Melted from head to toe, back to head then to toe all over again... :$

Never gonna get enough & never gonna get bored of it... 

My Christmas Eve just ended like that...Not too bad i guess... :$


Christmas, 25/12/13, Wednesday

Was woken up from my dream by his morning text...

"Good morning dear..."

"Morning...You just woke me from my dream..."

"Sorry..."

"Its ok..its a nightmare... :$ " 

"What did you dream?"

"Tell you when there's chance...How come today you so early ? " Its almost 11am & that's early for him... :$

"I sleep in living room & my aunties are very noisy they wake me up... :( "

..........

................

"Already no mood to go out...Darlings all aren't free,  left Liching & me..."  

"Then do you think you have mood if you go out with me ? "

"Sure...But its not the same.... :$ "

"Then you go prepare ba...I go take you soon..."

Of course i didn't trust him at first...Still refused to buy it even after he took a picture of his hostel room & sent it to me...Requested another photo of the toilet & there it was...I was like : Crap!!! He really is in his dorm, here in Kampar!!! but I thought he said he just got woken up by his aunties...So should i go get prepared now ?! 

Then i was like :" Wait..."    "Wait wait wait...."

"Don't tell me you don't have the mood to go out... :') "

Haha...pardon me,its gonna take a minute or more to wrap my head around this shocking news... :$

So when i was finally mentally ready & accepted the fact that he came all the way from KL to Kampar just to spend this lovely occasion with me, i rushed downstairs to shower again & get myself tidied up...

What meant to me more was its the 1st time i went out with my boyfriend & my mum knew about it...She was like :" Can you change your shorts ? Wear a longer one..."

"Seriously mum? I go out with you all wearing like this too...Its not that short..."

The reality still didn't strike me until i saw his car pulled over at the front gate...No words can describe how grateful and happy and touching i was at that moment...

I never expected him to show up & wouldn't even ask for it because i always thought it was selfish of me to ever want him to come...He can always have a better Christmas in KL, i mean in that fast growing city, its merrier & way more happening compare to Ipoh..Plus all his friends & families are there too...

What surprised me the most was that i never ever thought he would willing to ditch everything there & come all the way just for me, especially when everything's is better & nicer there in his hometown...

After a few minutes of torturing him with bunch of questions like : "I thought you are over at your cousin's house? "  "I thought you said your aunties just woke you ? " "So where were you & what you were doing when you sent me the morning text ? " "When did you decide this? " "Did your mum know about it & what did she say?" "I thought your mum drove you all to your cousin's house? Then when did you go home & take your carcar? " "How come you're so sure that i didn't have plan? " " What time did you start coming? "  i finally gave in & happily anticipated for our 2nd Christmas together...

Here's the answer...He decided to come quite sometimes ago...His cousin fetched him home to take his own carcar the day before, after they shopping at Paradigm Mall...He told his mum & his aunties did wake him but it was 8am in the morning...They all were laughing & mocking at him because its really rare to see him wake up such early & everyone in the house knew about him coming to find me...He started driving at 9am something & he was on the highway when he messaged me...He wasn't sure about me having plan for Christmas or not & that's why he kept asking & tiptoed around the questions...

Haha...i thought he asked because he's worried about me feeling lonely... :$

"How come you never asked if i would come find you ?"


"Because i know you're at your cousin's place & you're having so much fun..."

"Haha...its your Christmas...How would i have the heart to want you spending it alone..."   I love how it sounded when he said its my Christmas... :$

"Did you bring your instax mini ? "

"Urrrghhh !!!! Why now you only remind me ????!!!!"   half way to Ipoh...

"Haiz, bought for you you don't wanna use..."  was feeling so bad, should've brought it with me to capture all our moments together... :(

Oh right...i decided to DIY a Christmas present for him & tada....This is it... :$





Pardon my zero sense of art, i already tried my best...I wanna make him something to hang in his carcar so it can always remind him to drive safe & also remind him of me,haha... :$

The little snowman looked like this in the 1st place...



Haha...then it revolved & became like this... :$



It smells like apple as i added in some fragrance beads...Kind of like my little snowman, i think it looks cute considered its my 1st time doing this kind of handmade soft doll... :$

Now its already hanging in his carcar, mission completed... :)

We shopped a little at Aeon station 18, photo booth was a must,haha...Don't know why i just always have this thing about puripuka... :$


Intended to catch a movie but we couldn't get a nice seat with the early showing one & the others were all after 6pm...Since my mum knew about him bringing me out, he wouldn't want to risk sending me home too late,haha...

There's no much Christmas atmosphere, no matter in the new or old Aeon...Its fine though, simply his presence was all i ever wanted & desired...

Asked for ice-cream even though my health was still in no good condition...Couldn't help it, i just love love love ice-cream...No sore throat but the cough & the flu with its runny nose & sneezes were still there...& guess what...



Tada...Pleading victory...I always think that ice-cream is an extraordinary invention...How could someone come up with such delicious creation... :D

Last year's Christmas i was sick too...Coughed alot... Haha,coincidence or some sort of my Christmas curse... :$  

Wanted to have dinner at this mini I-City of Ipoh called Kinta Riverfront...Its quite a good place to visit...The latest time i've been there was with Thengjiejie, during CNY, the day before Valentine...The ambiance was fairly good & its crowded with people you could practically smell Valentine already...

Reached at approximately 7.30pm... "Awww...you're so good in using gps..."

"Its common sense...I never understand why you don't know how to read gps..." him saying with a smug face... Ok Fine... =_=

Ok...the point is we've reached & there's only few restaurants opened plus the place seemed so.......erm.......deserted.... :$

Haha..."I swear it didn't look like this the last time i came...I think its you problem..Face problem..."

Ended up we just walked around then his friends in degree who stay in Ipoh joined us for dinner...

That's pretty much for my Christmas..It was simple but already more than enough for me...





Tada...My Christmas presents...

I asked for Sticky & he bought me something else too, the 3rd book of Beautiful creature series, Beautiful Chaos... I already had the 4th which is the last book but i just couldn't find the 3rd one...

As for the little Christmas tree, it was before i got down the car & he said :" You have one more Christmas present, its in the car booth, go get it yourself..."  Aww...so sweet... :$

Why little Christmas tree? Its because  i've been whining about me not having one...Haha, was thinking : " You stupid boy..." So now i can wipe the own-a-Christmas-tree off my wishlist, Yippee... :D

He's always the one who found me everything i've ever needed or wanted & the one who fulfilled every wish of mine like my personal Santa Claus... :$

Yes...he's my very own & only one Santa Claus...Got my most desired wish fulfilled by surprisingly showing up on that very day...It means a huge huge huge huge huge lot to me, you have no idea how much i value Christmas... :$

Spent some quality time with him the next day before he left...



Buh bye...See you when uni re-open... :(

& erm...i'll take your expression as an interpretation of feeling sad to leave me instead of not willing to take picture with me...  :$

Thanks for all your efforts of trying to make my Christmas a special & memorable one...Until now i still can't get over of the huge wave of sweetness & love that engulfed me...

Ok...Now time to go for movie with friends...Walking with dinosaur... :$

Thanks for reading, byebye...Have a great day...Hope your Christmas was a nice one too... :)





Saturday, November 23, 2013

♥~Ceci's Diary Written In Chinese~♥

好久没有写日记了,好久没有用华语写日记了都是可恶的Laylay,逼我去看回以前的blog,弄到我有好多感触…. :(

看回去过去的自己,发现原来我的世界曾经是那么的开心美好,过去的自己好容易满足&快乐起来,永远都离不开食物,haha…虽然现在也是离不开…. :$

上一篇日记提过了,最近过得不是很好和他在一起的时候,单单他的存在就已经把所有的不开心和疑虑都盖掉了, haha, my dear is so powerful… :$


2/11/13 Saturday

和他去gaigai一早的时候他说想要剪了头发才来接我,可是他又怕我生气,因为他知道我不喜欢迟迟…haha,原来你知道hor…那一刻心里有surprise了一下,原来他比我想象中还要了解我不过我没有生气啊,很大方的啊… :$

喜欢在车上一边唱着歌一边玩手机,喜欢他1个手握着steering 1个手握着我 ( p/s : discourage to drive with only 1 hand)…

去了我们1st datingshopping center, Aeon station 18…他被我捉去拍大头贴,去回我们1stdating去sakae sushi brunch,去回我们1st次单独看movietgvthor…That day was my fairytale…Everything was so right…

而且Padiniprmotion, 整间店都在做discount, at least 50%....买了好多,很满足… :)


好吧那是最近唯一我过得最开心的一天

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

这一段时间我不停地在questioning我自己好多事情,好多的人令我很好奇到底为什么这个现实会是这样

有时候某些人的某句话,可以令你纠缠很久我知道自己在意别人说过的话而他最近说的话让我在心里反复想了好多次

你不需要在我面前特意地说一些有刺的话亲耳听着你一句一句的暗讽,你知道毕竟我一点也不在乎不要永远告诉别人你已经当我不存在了你要知道从来都不是我被放弃或忽略了,是我自己选择离开的我的避开是因为你对我做了很过分的事情,而你到现在还不知道其实整件事情我都懂

不是第一次了,我试着忘记,试着忍受你一切的讽刺,见到你的时候变回像平时一样,可是你的反应很明显地告诉了我到了现在为止,你的看法和心态一直以来都没有变过

我不明白为什么你不能像大家一样,而是在一旁到处告诉别人你怎样不看好,把整件事情当成是玩笑一样来看待…I thought we are friends…如果换成你是我,我一定会100% 真心地祝福你的避开不是因为变了,而是因为伤了

 很久没有见到蔡玮倩了上个星期我们一起去听talk,跟她谈了整个早上,才感慨我到底要到哪里找像我们之间那么自然的友情不需要解释,不需要entertain,不需要表达就可以知道对方的感受,对方在想些什么

觉悟了为什么要在别人面前装出不是自己的自己真正值得你花时间去相处和在乎的人,是你可以在他们面前做回最原本的自己的人… 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


KaiShin.... :)


Goldfish, Banana, Hippo...


My chemistry gang....

Management Principle's Presentation .....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


同样的,上个星期发生了很不愉快的事情我不知道为什么我的生活永远都要那么地戏剧化

我不断重复地问自己,为什么我要那样的反应如果我可以就装得开心一点点,平常一点点,整件事情就不会发生了

人不是应该随着时间的磨练而变得越来越坚强和勇敢吗可是为什么我越长越大,却变得越来越脆弱

对自己有很多的怀疑,很多的不肯定

一直以来,我都以为自己的存在性不高,他并没有把我看得很重要,但是最近发生了很多的事情,很多他无意中说过的话和做过的事情,confuse了我一直以来自以为是那样的想法

在车上他很激动地说我是你的男朋友啊,为什么你什么东西都不要跟我讲?!”

当我不肯下车,他走过来passenger seat抱着我说:你不要这样可以吗?你要我看着你被欺负,然后什么都不做,我很辛苦的你懂吗?” 

看着他激动到眼眶都红了,心里在想到底是我把自己看得太轻,还是我还不够了解我在他心里的位置

 “为什么你不懂得保护你自己的?”

除了我之外,没有人可以欺负你,知道吗?”  

 “我不要你像以前一样被欺负了静静不出声…”

“So unappreciated…”    这一句so unappreciated让我想到了从一开始我就在说他不会appreciate我的,可是其实真正不懂得appreciate的人是我自己我总在对自己有很多的疑问和否定,觉得自己不deserve,却从来不知道这种insecure无形中其实不止伤害着自己1

当他很累,在睡觉不肯起来吃早餐,我会一直吵他闹他,过了30分钟….1个小时我会开始不耐烦,然后不开心直到他发现了空气里有异常的安静,他会起床逗我,然后乖乖地一起去吃早餐

可是换成是我我刚上课回家,很累,睡着了他叫我起床吃午餐,我会说再多10分钟…10分钟过去了,还在赖床….30分钟过去了,依然没有反应….1个小时过去了,他再来把我叫醒,很有耐性地拉我起床睁开眼睛,原来他已经出去把午餐也打包回来了

平时谈天谈到睡着,我会吵他起床;他会静静地让我睡,调闹钟在设定的时间把我叫醒

一直以为他看不清我的重要,看不清我对他的感情,原来真正看不清楚的人是我

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

English For Science's Presentation...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

人生过程中有好多需要学习的地方,书本中的知识我们可以跟着formula,跟着definition,跟着theory…可是生活中的大大小小,当你遇到问题的时候,没有formula, definition or theory, 需要透过自己的努力和领悟去学习

有时候当你太过easygoing, 别人会tend to忽略了你的感受

不管别人要什么,做什么,你都说ok, 说好到了最后,他们只会有一个印象,觉得:”ok的啦,他可以了的啦…”  随之,你的感受会慢慢地不被重视,你的意见也慢慢地变得透明

一开始,你不希望别人不开心,你为了保护他们的感受而选择迁就,忽略了自己到最后,你开始变成了玻璃再一次又一次地被伤害那么一开始所付出的努力是对的还是错的… 无形中被伤害了又是不是自己造成的

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sociology's Presentation...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

当你跟一个人相处的时间越长,见他的时间越长,分开时候的不习惯和不舍得就变得越深

有好多想一起做的事情,有好多想一起过的节日,有好多我一直放在心上可是你却一早就遗忘的事情,有好多你不知道对我来说很重要的事情…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

一直以来以别人的感受为先,不是因为我不懂得保护我自己,尊重自己的感觉,而是我不希望因为自己而委屈别人,弄到别人 难过

从来就不懂得如何跟别人表达我自己,很多的感觉都收藏在心里面,总觉得自己默默地承受会比较好,不是因为我不重视,而是因为我不想把别人牵扯进来感受我的不开心…That’s why我写的永远都比说的来得还要好,不是因为我文笔好,而是因为我写的永远都是我说不出口的

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

写到了最后,心里的一切一切都释开了电话突然响了,冒出来的的message : ” dear you wanna mummum with me later? :$ “

“ I have no carcar to drive…Mercedez spoiled...come fetch me ? :$ “

“Then don’t want already…. :( 

“Ok ba…. :( “

“Haha…later finish test already go fetch you…one more to go…”


Haha…好吧开心回了….以上所有的emo化为乌有…..   :$






BE STRONG.........